So, Tuesday was my 9 year anniversary. We celebrated it over the weekend and drove up to Payson which is an hour and a half from where we live. I really like Payson, it has the small town feel and is cooler because it is up in the mountains, which I would probably complain about the whole winter but it is a nice escape in the summer. There is a casino in Payson and just recently in the last year they added onto it and built a nice hotel, this was the 2nd time we stayed there.
I like to shop, I REALLY like to shop, but gambling gives me anxiety! I can’t stand putting money in a machine and just blow it! I never win, NEVER! I don’t know what it is. I lose my pre-determined amount within like 10 minutes and then watch my husband who does win but then lose and win and lose and there goes my anxiety again!
This trip I lost my money within the normal time but Brandon lost his just as quickly. So we decided to eat and we had a nice meal. I kept trying to call my mother who was with my children to check on them and she wasn’t answering the phone so I called my mother-in-law to go over and check on them. They were fine! My mom just really doesn’t like phones.
So, we finish eating and Brandon decides we should just take some more money out and enjoy ourselves because we don’t go out without the kids like this very often and so even though my anxiety spiked again, I agreed. Now you need to know something about my husband. He never asks for anything, he never buys himself anything, he makes sure that me and the kids have everything we want and need and wants nothing in return. So I am not going to say no to him when he wants to gamble a little more. We lost again, very quickly, again. It was still early in the evening but we decided to go up to our room because we were doing very poorly at the whole gambling thing. So we went upstairs and caught the last half of Oceans 13, more gambling, except these people were winning. We ordered room service and had very, very rich cheesecake and then looked at the time and decided we were hopeless because it was still very early. So my husband decides that we should go back downstairs and gamble some more because we never do this. I of course agree.
I had a plan. I would just play with $20 of it and save the rest and buy myself something that I could at least hold in my hand while I had anxiety. I was down to my very last coin and all of a sudden, ding, ding, ding. I won $200. I immediately cashed out and was so very excited that I had won back what we had wasted. Then Brandon comes over to a machine by me and he ended up winning $300. SWEET! We ended up coming out ahead on our little gambling trip and my anxiety was gone!
Our TV in our room wasn’t working and it only had the local channels so we watched Twilight on my tiny little iPod screen! He did very well, he didn’t complain about the bad acting and low budget filming once! Now, can you tell me that your husband would do the same? LOL!
I was anxious to get back to my kids but after being with them for 10 minutes I was ready to leave again. They punished us all day Sunday for leaving them overnight! I have never seen Landon so naughty!!!
My cousin that I have not seen for 16 years came into town and we had a nice dinner with him and his family. Seriously the last time I saw him I had gone to the airport with my aunt to see him off for his mission. Soooo long ago! I met his wife and kids too and we had a great time!
Wednesday I drove my mom to the airport, made sure she was checked in and drove home. As I drove up my street and saw their vacant house, I think I must have regressed to a 4 year old.
I was in the fetal position the WHOLE day. I couldn’t do anything but just lay on the couch and watch my 1 year old spin like the little Tazmanian Devil that he is from one location to another and create chaos and mess in my house that was spotless before we left for the airport.
My husband came home from work and looked at me laying on the couch and the entire house a mess and says, “You’ve had a productive day” WRONG THING TO SAY!!!
That was when my meltdown happened.
“My mother is gone and now I have NO ONE! I am all alone and there is NO ONE to help me!!!!
He just looked at me like I was crazy and asked, “Do you want me to call my mom?”
“NO! I don’t want your mom, she doesn’t even LIKE ME! She’s still mad that I named the baby Landon instead of Harrison or Holton or Hudson!”
“What can I do?”
“You can NOT tell me that I’ve had a productive day when obviously I’ve been in the fetal position for 6 hours!”
He was saved when his phone rang and he was able to escape to the bedroom/office and take a work phone call. I was then a mess and started picking up the mess that I had allowed my son to make and soon after he was back out and helping me. I had calmed down and we decided what I needed to run to Walmart and get to go with dinner when I couldn’t find my flip flops. I have inherited an extremely annoying habit from my mother that even annoys me when I do it. I hmmm and haaaa and do it over and over so that there is no way everyone doesn’t know that I am frustrated.
“What’s wrong”
“I can’t find my flip flops”
“I put them in the closet”
MELTDOWN
“WHY! Why do you have to put them in the closet! Did it hurt for them to be right here by the couch where I know exactly where to find them? Why can I never have one pair of flip flops right here by the couch where I want them”
I got the crazy look again and he quickly retired to the bedroom/office.
Now, I really am not this crazy all the time! In fact, except for my meltdowns when I was pregnant with Hensley and Landon I’m really a nice wife! REALLY, I am!
I went to Walmart and returned home with apologies and the salad for dinner. After dinner he helped me bathe the kids and put the baby to bed and then handed me a much needed Xanax. I really do have the best husband ever!
So, I am still adjusting to my mom and dad not being across the street from me, which I don’t know why it was so hard for me this year. I thought I would share with you a few layouts of my parents who left me all alone with 4 children, 3 dogs and a husband in Mesa, Arizona. Love you Mom and Dad!
